When I was pregnant with Rowen Fraser and I would imagine all the possabilities for our first child… Would he or she be confident, social, shy or independent? We envisioned a child with all sorts of wonderful characteristics, all the best traits and lots of friends and accomplishments. What we didn’t discuss or envision was this child’s struggles or the obstacles they would have to overcome.
I have been worried about our oldest, Rowen, since before he was born (I guess that is what parents do). Being our first baby every milestone mark comes and you worry. “Did he get his teeth in the right order, at the right age, can he walk? Does he sleep through the night? Is he taking a bottle, he’s too old and we need to wean him.” These are just some of the many thoughts I would over analyze about with Rowen.
Lately the concerns have been hard to explain or list but I was worried that he wasn’t developing as he should! Then we got a call to come in and meet with the teachers, they had noticed a lot of the same things I have noticed and were impressed by how on top of it I was. Obviously its nice to know you haven’t been over reacting and that you were right to trust your mama bear instinct but it’s also a little upsetting to hear your child isn’t developing typically or that he is already facing more struggles than the average two year old.
I had a friend point out the everyone will struggle or have troubles at one time or another so it isn’t if it’s when? And the sooner it happens the better prepared and equipped you are to deal with life. I love this and totally agree with it. So I am looking at this latest hurdle as an opportunity for growth for myself as a parent and for Rowen as a person, learning skills that will help him through his life.
Funny thing about parenting is, it is nothing like what you expect it to be and it is so hard (and rewarding and amazing). I think we glamorize parenthood (especially the newborn stage) to be magical and natural. When in reality parenting is so much more than that… it is challenging, exhausting, trying and so very emotional.
I had images of what my children would be like, personalities, looks and even how they would dress, like a lot of people we said “our children will never do that” or “we will raise them differently”. Before becoming parents we knew it all, now that we have children we know nothing!
My kids refuse to wear the clothes I pick out (a lot of the time they refuse to wear clothes at all), my almost three year old is not even potty trained yet, we co-sleep the majority of the time, we have an iPad for every child and we avoid taking our kids to restaurants (something I swore my kids would do and do well). Nothing is how I thought it would be. Sometimes I am frustrated that the kids that I have aren’t the kids that I imagined but then I realize they are so much more!
We are just learning as we go with this parenting thing, and really try to make the best decisions we can make. Sometimes we get it wrong and often we are so happy we had three kids , hopefully we get it right for Eleanor! LOL:). Just kidding we hope all three kids turn out okay.
It has been and continues to be a learning curve. Tomorrow I will take Rowen to the paediatrician and start the process of hopefully getting some developmental assessments done. This is good, this is progress and hopeful will give us some tools as to how we can best help Row to succeed.
Next week my oldest and first baby turns 3, and I am not sure how I feel. I remember finding out I was pregnant, going 2 weeks overdue. I remember having an emergency c-section and being up with him through those first few months where everything is new to all of us and we didn’t want to let him cry ever. We have learnt that sometimes he will cry and we can’t prevent it but that’s okay. And that everything with Rowen is new to all of us and that whatever we do it is with the best intentions. Most importantly we celebrate him and who he is and all the things that we love about him.
Next week we will celebrate his birthday his style, at McDonalds with a few friends and cousins (he doesn’t like loud or big groups), he loves French fries and donuts so I will order him a donut cake. Then for dinner we will go to Nans house (as per his request) and have Boston Pizza (his other favourite food besides fries, must be Boston Pizza or Niagara, nothing else compares for him) and then Nan will have a cake she made for him!
I love Birthdays and like to go crazy with parties but I know that isn’t what Rowen would enjoy so this year it was all about him and what he would pick (plus Grace’s birthday is less than a month away so I can always go wild there).
These three kids are by far Fraser and I’s most challenging job/responsibility and greatest achievement. We cant imagine a life without them and are truly trying to live in the moment and enjoy them while they are little because they are growing so fast!
How did your kids surprise you and change you? Can you remember the days before kids (we often try and it seems so long ago)? Was parenting what you expected? I would love to hear what you think about parenting and life with kids…