A Decade of Lessons.

Time is a crazy thing, I am often unaware of it passing and then its gone. 2020 is fast approaching and with that comes all the excitement and promises of a fresh new year and decade as well as the reviews and playbacks of the past year and decade.

I have been thinking lots about how fast (and slow) 10 years goes. The first thing that came to mind for me was the loss the last 10 years has brought with it. I personally have lost two very important and influential people in my life this decade. My aunt was near the beginning of the decade and my uncle near the end. I have also watched friends lose parents and even had some of my peers pass away over the last 10 years. It has been hard, continues to come in waves and never truly goes away or gets easier. Every time I have a success, milestone, holiday or challenge I miss and wish I could talk to my Uncle and Aunt. However it has also taught me that life can and does go on, we can still have successes and happiness despite feeling immense sadness and things are always changing, so appreciate the now and those in your life today as one day they won’t be there.

The last 10 years has also taught me to really enjoy the moments because they go so fast. I had 3 little babies so close together and now my youngest is 2, some days this is astonishing to me as I can clearly remember moments of my first pregnancy as if it were yesterday. Then there are those times when I am chatting with a few moms and they are all talking about feeding their babies, nap schedules or some baby related milestone and I cannot remember them. I think to myself, it couldn’t have been that long ago… it actually flew by! I remember how as a new Mom I used to feel like days would go past without me really “accomplishing” anything and I would look forward to my kids getting older and more independent. However now I realize these moments go by and you will never get them back, they will never be that small again and it goes so so so fast. So even in the trying and hard moments I remember nothing lasts and try to find the joy in some of those moments.

Another lesson the last ten years has taught me is that if you are unhappy or living a life you do not want you have the power to change it. Life has so many choices, we just have to be brave enough to make them. It is okay to change your mind, it is good to grow and not all choices are easy but after it is all said and done they hopefully lead to a happier version of your life. 10 years ago my goals were different, my job was different, finances, family dynamics, etc. I am so proud of the choices I have made over the last 10 years and although they were not all happy or easy they have lead me to a life I love and continue to be grateful for everyday. The best goal I can have for the next 10 years is that all these things will change again… my job continues to evolve and I am able to add to it, our finances will continue to improve, goals will evolve and change and more!

You cannot undo the past, you cannot plan for the future… you can live in the present! That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t learn from your past or try to work towards goals in the future it just means don’t over think it cause because circumstances and people change and I have had amazing things come from being open to changing my “plans”. Ask anyone who knew me 10 years ago about wanting kids and you will most defiantly hear that I didn’t want them, even in my late 20’s. Talk to me today and my 3 amazing and beautiful kids (who I most defiantly wanted) were the best decision I made, continue to teach me and give my life so much more joy! Be flexible and adaptable, knowing that things can change has given me hope when I needed it and has also forced me to dream a little bigger!

Dream Big. It’s as easy and hard as that! For our family this has come into play in so many aspects of our life. We have dreamt big in terms of our house and the changes we wanted to make and have slowly been making. However it has also given us a new appreciation for knowing our priority isn’t our house, sure we like having something clean and maintained but we don’t have to have all the things we want to be happy. Dreaming Big has also helped us to go from no vacations to falling in love with experiences and working hard to make travel a part of our lives. I can remember taking our first “big” family vacation to Hawaii for 10 days, in the middle of a renovation, with two kids under two and pregnant with our third and sitting on the beach saying imagine if we could stay for a month!!! For the following two years we took our three kids for 5 weeks each year. It was amazing. I love the experiences the last 10 years have brought and cannot wait to see what the next 10 will bring for us.

With all of this in mind I welcome a new decade and will work at enjoying the now.

90,000 Reasons to be Passionate about your Work.

I believe in doing things with passion. I also believe the people you surround yourself with are reflections of you and should share some of your beliefs or goals. So, although my friends and family may not all have the same background, parenting styles, schedules, money management, political beliefs I think we share some common values.

What ties me to my people? I think honesty and integrity, selflessness and caring for others, family and respect especially in regards to prioritizing people and experiences over stuff are just some of the values that bond my friendships with people.

That being said over the last little bit I have noticed a common trait in my girlfriends that has not only left me feeling fairly inspired but super proud of them and all their accomplishments! My tribe is one of diverse careers, ranging from entrepreneurs, government employees, corporate boss babes to stay at home moms and more. Some even wear more than one of these hats and do it with ease making it look much easier than I know it is. I have discovered what I think it is that makes them so inspiring and so good at their jobs and its Passion!

I am lucky enough to have the full time job of CEO of the Farlow House. This means I manage 3 kids schedules and 1 busy longshoremen’s finances, household, social calendar and more. In addition this full time gig I also have been working part time and sporadically at my girlfriends family farm Emma Lea. I love being at the farm and getting to see everything they do as well as meet new people and share this special place with the community. It is a pretty great job and one I totally value. Last year we were asked to take 40 locals on a tour of the farm and tell a little bit about what we do. Katie (my boss, good friend and one of the farmers) was phenomenal at this. She blew me away with her ability to simplify something very complex and explain in in such a condensed version, within half an hour, people could really get a feel for how special and how much work and love goes into the farm. Not only did I learn some new things about how the farm runs and what cool voluntary programs we participate in as a member of the farming community, I also got to see my boss and friend show and share her passion for the farm and her job. I hate calling it her job because when you hear her speak it doesn’t sound like a job at all but more of a privilege and a choice. One thing that makes the farm unique to me and became evident with Kates tour was how the farm, although a business with a bottom line, was also a place that wanted to be known for employing people fairly and with integrity, treating animals ethically, and contributing to a greater good. I think when businesses or people go above and beyond what is expected and make decisions with more than just money in mind it is really something special.

I left the farm tours and started to think about other friends and their careers, does everyone do such amazing things… Then later I was out getting the kids haircut by our hairstylist, as well as good friend and I saw more passion for a job. I know she loves what she does and she is great at it (you just have to search the community facebook pages and hear all the recommendations or watch her in the salon to know). The thing is getting your hair cut can be emotional for lots of people. My son has ASD and sometimes struggles to sit in the chair (as do many kids) and she does every cut with patience and love. Plus she knows just how to turn a crappy day into a great one and help transform my mama pony into a beautiful hairstyle worthy of the magazines. She is a hard working mom herself, yet still manages to volunteer her time and talents whenever she can for the many charity events her salon takes place in including fundraisers out at Emma Lea. She is continually working towards bettering herself with workshops and training and recently advanced to a higher level of stylist. This girl cuts hair with passion and style all her own and being one of my youngest friends (only by a few years) she does it with so much confidence and class for someone who just turned 30. She is super passionate and super inspiring in her work life, reminding me that you can be a busy and great mom still working on building and advancing a career all your own. It is a great reminder and example.

I am super lucky to have at least a dozen examples like this of friends and family who inspire with their careers and I think that is something super special. The reality is most people have to work, and most people spend a lot of time over their lifetime at their jobs. With that in mind shouldn’t we have some passion in what we do and enjoy our time at our job. I think it is unrealistic to say you will always love your job or only do things you can do with passion because sometimes a job is a job and we do what we have to do. But hopefully it is short term while you work towards something you love. If you are like us and have kids I think there is no better example to show then your kids seeing and hearing about your job in a positive light. Imagine facing a future knowing you will have to enter a workforce and hearing your parents talking with dislike about their own careers.

I think of one of my friends who has three kids like us and not only went back to school while having kids but also started her own home based business as a mortgage broker. It meant leaving a very reliable and good job for something risky and unsure. She is super passionate and continually challenging herself and building her business. As hard as I see it is for her working from home with three little kids she is setting such a great example for her girls, and she definitely is a good example of a career woman wearing many hats… I mean she manages her own business but also raises three beautiful girls, did I mention she is a Sparks leader? Like this lady knows no limits.

Like I said the list goes on and on, we are so fortunate to have many inspiring friends. I feel incredibly blessed to have at least a dozen or more examples of friends and family who have passion for their careers and excel at their jobs. It is not often you get to see friends and family in their workplace, doing their magic but if you take time to ask about work and what they do you might be surprised at the answers (good or bad) and you might be surprised at the passion people can have for sometimes overlooked jobs.

My sister works for Children’s, Women’s and VGH Hospitals and she has the coolest job but it isn’t one easily explained or one that I can even understand. She encourages and supports parents and patients to get informed and become active in making their healthcare decisions. To hear her speak about her job and even the learning and stats she does on some really tough illnesses like mental health and cancer in kids is really amazing. She is always doing extra learning, courses or acting on boards to learn more in her field and be a better support to her patients, plus she is enthusiastic and passionate about what she does.

I think so often we think to be passionate you need to have a glamorous or cool job or job title but I completely disagree, I think its about attitude and the way you share your stories. The people who inspire me are enthusiastic, always learning, knowledgeable in their fields and most important they show passion for whatever it is they are doing.

I hope our kids can see us do our jobs with passion and enthusiasm and that whatever they decide to do in this lifetime it is something they enjoy doing. The best thing I think we can do to encourage that is to set the examples ourselves. So, if you are getting ready to go to bed tonight and setting your alarm to get up and go to a job you feel less than thrilled to have may be its time to ask yourself what would make it better? How can you light a little fire and get a little excitement to get up and go?

Living a life we love, managing stress and coping with anxiety

So, my first 30 years were the years I didn’t know how to manage my stress. I often felt overwhelmed, suffered from chronic headaches as well as feelings of depression and anxiety. Everything from relationships to money to work to any sort of responsibility would be stressful for me.

Today, I rarely get a headache and now instead of having them caused by emotional stress they are usually brought on by forgetting to eat, too much sun and not enough water or on occasion cheap wine or one too many drinks!

I have recently been really wondering what was so stressful before that isn’t so stressful now? Like seriously I am now responsible for three tiny humans, I should be more stressed. I am realizing though, with life experience you gain confidence, hopefully some coping mechanisms for anxiety and stress and of course the ability to recognize and ask for help.

I think there are a few things for me that lead to stress and the feeling of being out of control.

  • Overwhelm. Always saying yes to everything. With the best intentions but I struggled to set realistic goals.
  • Avoidance. Ignoring issues past or present. Not communicating and afraid to make changes. Avoiding confrontation or difficult conversations.
  • Caring too much about appearances and what others think, instead of prioritizing myself. Doing things to make others happy instead of being true to myself.

I think often people see my blog or even a picture I post or an instagram story and are happy to believe that my life is pretty good and I have it really easy. I agree my life is really good, but a really good life still takes hard work and compromise and everything comes with a price tag. As for having it easy, I think grass is always greener on the other side. We have chosen to try and see the bright side and the best in our situation. It doesn’t always work, but for the most part I think we have created a life we are happy with and really are living our best life.

I have been told “you make it look all sunshine and butterflies”. It has really got me thinking, and it has reminded me that I shouldn’t care what other people think. This is so much easier said then done. It is far from sunshine and butterflies we have lots of challenging moments. However it also has got me thinking about what has changed in my life that I feel less stress than I ever did. The truth is I don’t believe anyone lives a stress free life however I do believe that it is all in how we deal with our stress and choose to live our lives that impact our quality of life.

For me personally a lot of my typical stresses are gone but a lot are gone because of choices and actions I took.

Schedule. First I make a big effort at using our calendar and scheduling in everyone’s stuff (Fraser’s ball, Rowens ABA, kids activities, parties, family social stuff, work, etc). Then when things come up we can check the calendar and try to avoid over scheduling. This sometimes means saying no or prioritizing. It has taken us a while to get to this point but I found we were so busy some days or weeks running from thing to thing that no one was having any fun and I was super stressed. We like to be flexible and plan as we go but having a bit of a schedule to work from has really helped to alleviate stress. This has also helped us to see improvements in the kids behaviour. When they are over scheduled we see more behaviours that we don’t love, which is a good sign to slow things down or take a day off. I also have realized that although I use a calendar and plan ahead, on a busy week it is best to take one day at a time. That has been a huge stress reliever.

Rituals. These are hard to think of but they are things we do to keep peace and order. They feel good to everyone because we know what to expect and they are calming. I have worked really hard at trying to not only have rituals with the kids but for myself. Prior to kids Fraser and I loved being sporadic but now with three kids we see the benefits to having some routine and rituals in our life. For me these rituals include things like journaling, moon circles, using oils, meditation, taking time to work on the farm once a week and girls nights. For the kids some things are our bedtime rituals (bath, reading, talking about our day and what is happening tomorrow, etc), baking with the kids and even our dance parties (which weren’t always popular with Rowen but we found a way to include him). I think these help to feel safe, in control and just regroup without surprises or unknown.

***Side Bar on rituals is that I have just established a plan with the help of my naturopath of a few things to do to try and get back on track and one of her suggestions was setting an hour, 10pm-11pm, where I do the same things every night to prepare for bed. Similar to how we do for our kids bedtime. I love this reminder of how important these rituals are!

Setting Boundaries. This has been something that has been difficult and caused some upset amongst some family but we are learning to set our boundaries. What I am learning about boundaries is that even workplaces and friendships can benefit from boundaries. I love knowing what other people expect and want and when things are clear it eliminates a lot of stress. Setting boundaries often can avoid feeling like you are being taken advantage of or even getting into awkward or difficult situations. Some examples for us of boundaries that were difficult to set but helped eliminate stress were things like limiting our visitors every time we had a new baby, declining some Christmas family activities because it was overwhelming (limiting how much we do right around the holiday), trying to leave Sunday as a family day, and really being clear about how we like the kids being treated and raised.

Practice Self Care. I am really proud of how well Fraser respects this and is really good at acknowledging when I need some me time. He will often notice if I am nearing a breaking point and suggest I go out for some solo time. He also is good at taking time to go work on a project solo or go to ball, just be on his own. I wouldn’t have ever believed this would take persuasion as I have always been great at self care. However once you have kids things change it is almost like I feel guilty sometimes taking time for me. I do think the more you practice self care the easier it gets because you realize you come back refreshed and ready to take more on!

Self care for me is often taking time away from the family and doing some of my rituals. Self care is even something as simple as working outside of the house, its funny to say that but having three young kiddos has meant we made the choice to have me at home. It was a team decision and a lot of it was it just made financial sense but it was also logistically for the lifestyle we wanted (kids activities, Fraser and I being able to see each other, parent participation in things, etc) that it made sense for us. As nice as it is that I am able to stay at home we both know it would be nice if I could work a little, unfortunately working a little means hiring some more help, having Fraser help out a bit and just more scheduling… I realize that self care is a priority and we make it work but it is a bit of work to take the time for me.

I think that you do not have to eat the same meals every Monday night, do the same thing every Tuesday morning, etc to create routines in your life. I know my resistance to creating these healthy habits was loosing spontaneity but that isn’t true at all. These are just ways to help manage stress and anxiety. Everyone is different and sometimes it takes a bit to figure out what will work for you but I encourage you to try. Often we know what we need to do but we just need a push to get there so whatever that push looks like for you… maybe it’s having an accountability partner, hiring a coach, seeing your naturopath or maybe its as simple as a checklist. Whatever it looks like take the time to do it! Living with less stress and anxiety usually means you get to live with a whole lot more of other stuff!

Second Time Lucky

On January 29th, 2019 we had a sunset ceremony on a beach in Wailea with just the 5 of us. Our kids had their snack packs full of stuff they had picked out the day before, they had new buckets and shovels and even gum to keep them entertained with the promise of sparkling grape juice and plastic champagne glasses if they let us have a few minutes to get married!

It couldn’t have gone better. Rowen played in the waves, while the girls snacked and dug in the dirt. Each child came over at least once through out the ceremony to ask for help opening bubbles or a snack. It was so comforting to just have them safe and close but be able to concentrate on the vows we were exchanging.

The vows had a bit of Hawaiian tradition, the blowing of the conch, a Hawaiian prayer and a Lei exchange ceremony. I loved the mix of familiar and new traditions and the simplicity of what we were promising each other. Simple to say, harder to do. I cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives fulfilling these promises. Having never met our officiant until maybe 5 minutes before the ceremony we could not have asked for a better fit for us. He was fantastic.

The morning had started like most of our mornings on the beautiful island of Maui, laid back and relaxed. No rush to do much other than enjoy the day. Grace of course insisted on getting her nails done so we ran up to the salon so she should could get fresh paint! While Fraser and the other two decided to brave the Hawaiian sprinkles and wind and hit up the beach. Thank goodness they did because when we came to join them a whale was so close to shore the lifeguard had called everyone in to the shore for safety. It was amazing watching a cow and calf humpback swim so close to shore, followed by a big turtle. Talk about a sign that it was a special day.

After the beach I ran down to a salon and had my hair and make up done while Fraser got all the kids to nap. I came back with lunch from the 808 Deli for us, wanted to make sure we both ate. It was so nice to be so laid back and relaxed together before the ceremony and the kids woke up.

We did our short ceremony at 5pm on an almost deserted public beach in Wailea. We celebrated with bevies, a little play in the water and of course watching the sunset. Our favourite part of the day here in Maui. Then we quickly headed back to our condo to rinse off the kids and change them before heading to The Grand.

Dinner was a tough choice as dining late (7:30) with our kids can be risky but we figured why not try. I am so happy we did, the restaurant could not have been more accommodating or family friendly. Plus, like all things Grand, it was spectacular. Traditional Polynesian themed huts with thatched roofs resting over a lagoon along the beach it is a truly beautiful setting. It was such a great way to end a very special day.

We had planned most of the details from home and knew we were getting married while in Hawaii, however it had been a tough choice for us. There was no traditional proposal, unless you consider that I wrote “Will you marry me” in the sand last year for Fraser! If I waited for him we would never be married… so we discussed and went ring shopping together. Fraser is high maintenance and knows what he wants, BLING! He will be having a ring custom made as his 13.5 ring sizes made it hard to buy in shops. I knew I wanted stacking bands, preferably eternity or at least one eternity. We ended up with a brand I had loved called LIVEN, two eternity bands stacked together white gold dipped in black rhodium gives them kinda of a greyish look. I love them.

2018 had been a tough year with lots of sadness and loss towards the end of the year and it really reminded us that life is short and to live the life you want now because no guarantees you will have a later. So about two months before we were leaving for Maui I just phoned and booked with the wedding coordinator we had been in contact with a few times already.

It was so easy to plan and coordinate it all. The hardest part was committing to eloping and knowing it would mean a lot of friends and family who are so important to us wouldn’t be there to witness our special moment. That’s what was important though, it was OUR special moment not anyone else’s. What is so cool and has been pretty amazing is getting everyone’s FaceTimes and calls and messages and really hearing the true excitement and happiness for us. It just proves that these people are the best family and friends we could ask for and that they know us so well! So thank you to you all, you know who you are, for loving us always.

XO- Mr & Mrs.Farlow

For more photos from our ceremony check out our album

http://www.weddingsbymarbelle.com/vend/?/set/28b18/2019-01-29-fraser–carly/

WEDDING COORDINATOR| Deanne from Precious Maui Weddings

FLOWERS| Country Maui Bouquets

PHOTOGRAPHY| Jennifer from Marabella Media

OFFICIANT| Adam Gomes

CEREMONY LOCATION| Palauea Beach, Maui, HI

DINNER LOCATION| HumuHumu Restaurant at The Grand Wailea

DRESS| Ross

GROOMS SHIRT| Tommy Bahama

KIDS| Von Bon (Girls) & Target (Rowen)

RINGS| Brides is LIVEN eternity bands and Grooms is black silicone with plans to have a blingy ring made for him

Resolutions or Reflections???

New Years are like Birthdays to me. A perfect time reflect on how the last year has been and what I want from the upcoming year.

I typically love reflecting, and maybe it has to with the fact that as I get older I feel like each year gets better and better. I am more comfortable and confident and my relationships deepen and my life seems to get more meaningful as I gain wisdom and experience.

Obviously there is the sad stuff and the odd year that is tougher than most, as people get older there are losses or sometimes with those way to young to be gone. There are moments that forever change you or experiences that change your perspective and make you re-evaluate what’s important.

So, 2017 was a big year for us as a family and for me personally. We finished our first Reno and moved into a new space to start off the year, we took our first family vacation to Maui and loved spending time with our kids just chillin’ at the beach and enjoying paradise. Fraser had a record year for work and I managed to start my blog (work in progress for sure but pretty excited to get it up and going). In addition I co-hosted our first annual Christmas Market at the Farm, as well as my first annual Girlfriends long table dinner and I started selling doTerra Oils which has been a huge learning experience and has challenged me to get back into selling but also to start to venture out and meet new people. It has been the year we completed our little family and welcomed our last baby, Eleanor, into our family. We celebrated two weddings, one family members and one close friends. Our oldest son started preschool and we have started the process of having him privately assessed for Autism (in addition to ADHD, Anxiety and ODD). It was the year we survived having 3 kids under the age of 3 and I like to think we did better than survive it. We also developed some new healthy habits this year which included a new eating plan and started to do a lot more intentional exercise (thank you to The Studio). 2017 didn’t come without it’s challenges and disappointments as well as sadness but we feel extremely blessed and definitely think our good outweighed our bad this year!

With all that being said I am super excited to welcome 2018 and see what it has in store for our little family! We are starting it off with Fraser taking 7 weeks paternity leave, 4 of which we are spending in Maui! During those 4 weeks we will be overlapping vacations with my Grandma, Great Aunt & Uncle, my Aunt & Uncle (as well as 4 other couples that are family friends), one of our best friends and her husband and kids as well as their whole extended family and my mom and two of her really good friends… just to name a few. I would say this is a GREAT start to 2018. We are definitely not worried about the January blues or after Christmas dumps, but in fact I am worried we are starting off the year so well how will we be able to continue the momentum. That being said I have a few goals for this year…

I’m not super big on Resolutions, mainly because I feel like I make unreasonable ones and they are super generic and no one follows through. So, instead I have made some goals for me personally as well as a few family or house goals. We make goals all the time but I find a new year is the perfect excuse and time to just re-evaluate and write down what you want.

So here goes some of my goals for 2018, I am hoping by sharing them I hold myself a little more accountable.

– Set aside time just for family. No TV, phone, etc

– Sleep with my phone in a different room.

– Take bold risks, do stuff even if it scares me and put myself out there. (Specifically with my blog, oils, etc)

– Make me a priority. Set aside time for things I do solo (without Fraser and the kids).

– Work on getting Rowens assessment finished and put together a support system to get him prepared for grade school.

– Get a budget in place and decide what our financial goals are for 2018 (are we saving, doing any home improvements, trip planning, plan any big purchases, etc).

– Find an exercise regime that is realistic and that I can commit to.

– Clean eating at home, cook most meals (meal plan) and avoid refined sugars.

– Drink more water.

I feel like I have a million things on the go, and that my list is a bit ambitious. However I also feel that it is doable and all areas that I want to work on. I am excited for a lot of these goals and have already started to get working on my list. Let’s hope the motivation continues beyond January and I can keep the momentum going.

What resolutions or goals do you have for the New Year?

I Promise …


Today marks Auntie Mona’s 53rd Birthday, and September 15th marked the 6th Anniversary of the day she passed away.  Now my Aunt was more than an Aunt to myself and my two sisters.  She was my Moms only sister and she was our second Mom.

We grew up with a single Mom who worked full time, but my Aunt was essentially our stay at home Mom. She was the one who was there when we woke up for school, she made our breakfasts or on special mornings brought us McDonalds breakfast, she took us to school and picked us up, she brought us hot lunches to school or stopped and got us Cafe De Gourmet packed lunches (they were the best), she attended school concerts and field trips, she baked with us, took us on amazing summer vacations, back to school shopping (or really any excuse for shopping), the list is endless you name it she did it.  OF course growing up we didn’t realize how truely blessed we were.  See sometimes having two such amazing moms was hard, but I like to think it shaped the three of us (my sisters and I) into some decent adults, well that’s an understatement, some pretty great adults.   My Aunt had no children of her own and so she had lots of time to be able to teach us life lessons and to shape us into who we are today.

Mona, my aunt, was diagnosed at 30 with Cancer, we were so young and really did not understand what this journey would be like and the affect it would have on us all.  After the initial shock I feel like life was fairly good or normal for a while, nothing changed too quickly for us.  In the beginning it seemed she would have a surgery and be okay for a bit and then go back in for another surgery and feel good for a bit, unfortunately though the feel good part started to get shorter and shorter and she was getting sicker and less able to handle the surgeries the way she initially could so recoveries became tougher and longer.  She was sick for 17 years and to see someone with such a horrible diagnosis fight so hard and become so sick is really a very heart breaking thing.  However we mourned so slowly over her, each time she might lose something like the ability to eat, or getting a colostomy bag, or no longer being able to travel, I would be sad and mourn that aspect of her life but be thankful she was still here with us.  I am not sure if that is selfish but I believe she wanted to be here, because her sheer determination and her attitude towards being sick was inspirational.  I don’t know if I ever really knew how sick she was until the very end, because even when she was so sick she had the ability to still be interested in our lives and what was going on.  Towards the end I remember trying to call and check in regularly but really it ended up being her checking in with me and how I was doing.

My Aunt was one of a very short list of people who impacted us huge growing up, my mom and her were the two woman we spent the most amount of time with and they were so young (my mom was just 20 when she had me).   So at times I was and am mad that life robbed my Aunt of time to see us grow up into adults.  I know she would have loved to be here for our weddings and our kids births (she actually wanted to be in the delivery room as she had never experienced a birth of her own and wanted to be at one of ours, none of us wanted to let her!). Or the fact that she is not able to spend holidays spoiling our children the way she was able to spoil us growing up.  Not only that, she was sick so young I think of all the trips and experiences she missed out on while she was living… but in life we have choices on how we handle and look at things.  My aunt made the choice to live out her life happy, not mad at her diagnosis or illness.  She taught us all lots in her 47 years  here and gave us more memories and experiences than some people have the privilege to have in a much longer lifetime.

So instead of being mad I promise

  • To share as many stories about her as I can.
  • To spend time doing some of the stuff she took the time to do with us.  And not take it for granted or wish away these times, but to enjoy the moments.
  • To focus on my health  and well being. I will try to eat healthy and exercise to help my body stay healthy.  I will never take my health for granted.
  • To celebrate each Birthday because I am lucky to get to age.

I will remember her when I look at my youngest daughters birth mark and think of it as a kiss from Auntie Mona, or when I see my middle daughters passion and crazyiness. I promise to take the opportunities to remember her as they come even if they make me a little sad I will try to think of them with happiness and share these memories with my kids.

Wherever you are now Auntie Mona I hope you are pain free and enjoying the show, Happy Birthday! XO